Words versus meaning
Last week was difficult. Around one week ago, the situation got worse. My daddy kept drinking water all night long. Wanting to eat at 3.30, 4.20, 5.30,6.15… We began to understand that Papi often cannot find the right words anymore to describe his problem or feeling. Sleepless nights for the 3 of us.
On Monday the thuis zorg manager came over and she said I look tired. I described the last nights and she was alarmed. Me a and my daddy’s wife would break down if we continue like this. She organized help during the nights. My daddy’s wife first was skeptical. “A stranger in the house!?”, but after that night she was convinced it is a good thing.
The nurse who came over during that night found out that my daddy had an extremely high blood sugar. He nearly got to coma because of the high blood sugar! The medicines he is taking at the moment foster the high sugar rates. But what I wasn’t told is that my daddy had diabetes and stopped with the medication some months ago without asking a doctor?! He thought it’s over and fine.
I was so angry! Risking going to coma not because of the tumor but because of the blood sugar is a thing! He was feeling so bad! I said to myself that my daddy is sick in his brain and cannot think clearly. I could accept he just forgot about that. But I got so angry the wife didn’t realize. She already knew the symptoms of diabetes which reappeared now. She knew he stopped with intaking the medicine. And she didn’t make a link?! Didn’t tell anybody?!
After sleepless nights and this information, I really had to struggle with impatience and being angry. You know, my Zen – attitude really had an end. Took a little and soon I was comprehensive again. We are all at our limits.
Fortunately, the blood sugar is now under control.
My daddy most of the times can speak clearly- I mean he can tell old stories and adventures. That’s fine. (But I have to say I have the feeling his tongue – as any muscle in his body – gets slowly paralyzed. He speaks less every day.) But he cannot describe well what he feels or what is going wrong. As he says something is painful, he could mean he is hungry, thirsty or maybe cold. Additionally, he got a bladder infection. There were many things going out of control and the nurses are giving their best to find out what is really the matter. I don’t know how many doctors, managers, nurses came over for example the day before yesterday- I think around 15 people.
But today I bring good news:
Tonight was the first time he slept again for nearly 6 hours! Sleeping is the best medicine.
He is clear in his mind and he does a wonderful thing: HE SMILES.
I feel extremely relieved.