We reached the next level

We had a relatively good week. Papi was positive, glad about the Thuiszorg which is now helping us. I was happy about the situation and had the feeling that now we can handle. I planned to go home for some days. 

Now things worsened. 

During the night he now has to get up every 40-50mins to do his bathroom deeds. That means that his wife has to get up, and sometimes I have to help. We did barely sleep. Moving some meters becomes a huge, nearly impossible challenge. The whole body gets so heavy and stiff. Every little tiny movement gets so difficult. It is as he is closed inside the body.

He is completely aware of what is going on. Till now he was skeptical of all aid from outside. I think it’s normal, that everybody will stay independent as long as possible. After the last night he is convinced he needs more help.

He apologizes. Says thank you all day long. Apologizes that I am having a hard time too. Is so sorry I brought him to this situation. I am just repeating that I am his daughter, without him I would not even exist ;) That makes him smile.

Ohhh what a difficult moment.

Still now he is saying that this life is a gift and he is enjoying it. I am impressed.

We are now going for a catheter and a hospital bed and more assistance from the nurses. Hope this helps.

Have you read Kafka’s Metamorphosis - Die Verwandlung ?

I had to hink about this book today: 

"Als Gregor Samsa eines Morgens aus unruhigen Träumen erwachte, fand er sich in seinem Bett zu einem ungeheueren Ungeziefer verwandelt.  (…) »Was ist mit mir geschehen?« dachte er. Es war kein Traum, sein Zimmer, ein richtiges, nur etwas zu kleines Menschenzimmer, lag ruhig zwischen den vier wohlbekannten Wänden,  (…)"

Those monuments of pieces of Literature and Art are an anchor to me in these situations. Gives me the feeling somebody was already experiencing the situation I am in. 

Look what I found today on the Dijk: a Klavervier. Best surprise of the day. The real one is getting pressed in a book. The virtual version is for you ;)