Positive traces

I never wrote about the positive things. Time to change that.

"Wonderful. Super. That's a present. Marvelous." Those are the words my daddy uses most during these days. When seeing my daddy how positive and strong he is in this situation, I become just humble. Wasn’t I too less grateful in the last years?

“You know, what remains? Just the positive things. I don’t regret anything.”, he said.

He is 77years old and he lived a life full of adventures, success and love. He fulfilled his dreams, became a cruise captain and travelled the world. He wished he could stay with us some years more, but he says he accepts the situation and is ready to leave us.

At the end remain stories. 

Memories of small things. A children's birthday, the moment he bought a piano, a joke of a friend, the dessert in a restaurant in Italy, the broken bike wheel on a rainy Sunday afternoon. The 52 hours work shift on the Mississippi. 

Memories of big things. A storm on the ship he overcame. The first time he saw my mother. The moment where he lost his job and had to fight for another one.

He gave me a hug and said that I am strong and that I should go for my dreams. Even if it is hard, I should continue. If there are others who have an other opinion, I should continue on my way. He says I was the best investment in his life- I should continue in what I am doing. Take care about my mother, love my partner, maybe have kids and follow my dreams. Get rid of unimportant people or projects. Just discard them and continue on my path.

I wish to give you reader this hug and tell you the same.

Life can be fucking painful. Fucking unfair. And is always too short.

And therefore it is our responsibility to enjoy every enjoyable moment and to be grateful for every minute. 

Enjoy the tiny things and fight for what is important.

It sounds so pathetic, but I feel as a part of me is dying with my father and somehow I got the chance of a rebirth.


All this shit will leave traces in me.

It sounds so weird to me in saying that, but there will be many positive traces too.


1 reactie

Franziska, this is a very difficult one to translate. Because it is about feelings; not the 'technical part of the word'. 

Most of the people writing here are patient or are having like you someone very dear to be patient. And many can speak of both sides.... me too.... 

We told ore selves cancer sucks. Very! But cancer has also the 'power' to bring you friendship, brings you back to the things that a realy important in life, shows you how deep your love to one can be and is. In such moments you can feel very rich! You can feel greatfullness for having the luck of being loved and having such a dear dad! You lived a life together, and yes, much to short. Nowadays people got to get very old and 77 is not very old. But also the fact that it has to count how the life has been filled. Your dad had ups and downs, but as i read most of all he had a rich and beatiful life. 

I wish you as much dear moments as possible in the situation your dad is. Richness is you being there and being with him for the last days in this life.  Be strong and trustfull to you! You ca do it; you are doing it! May all your moments get beautiful and dear memories!

Greatings xxx Hebe

Laatst bewerkt: 17/01/2020 - 15:49