How the bitter truth came out

Now that I was visiting my father he didn’t want to see or hear a doctor. He thought about all other things to do and thought to recover soon. But I decided to do something and went directly to his general doctor. I didn’t even tell my father because he didn’t want me to do that. I felt bad about this, but I felt it was urgent.

I explained the doctor the situation. She was allarmed. She came the same day for a visit. She made some tests and sent us urgently to a neurologist.That was on Wednesday 11th.

On Friday 13th we went to Scheemda hospital. We saw the neurologist. He said there happened something in the brain. Or a stroke or a tumor. We should to the MRI to check that. On Monday 16th we went to do the MRI.

The meeting with the neurologist and the diagnosis was fixed for Thursday 19th, but I insisted we could if possible see the neurologist earlier. The situation was unbearable.

On Wednesday 18th in the morning we got a call to be there two hours later. It was hard for my dad to get out of bed so early. Everything became so time and energy consuming. Finally we got to the hospital on time. We weren’t waiting long. The doctor was kind. And didn’t bring good news.

The glioblastoma was already very big. Infected the right part of the brain. There is nothing more to do. Operations are excluded. Chemotherapy is excluded. What he recommended is a radio therapy.

Life expectancy is about 6 months- but that can vary. Depending on many factors.

He showed us the picture of the white beast in the brain of my father. With my last energy I asked the questions I had. My father reacted in a calm way. As always. „That’s life.“ He said. I tried not to cry. That didn’t really work.

This is like you are in the middle of a sunny day and somebody switches the light out.

We went out of the hospital. Papi wished to go to a Restaurant. So we went to a Restaurant - continuing with a little bit of normal life. I tried no to cry.

I would vomit all  night long. An endless nightmare.