I simply knew (post van 29.08.2018)

How did it all come to this ... Why am I sitting here, so doubtful about all that has happened to me these last months? I'm frozen. Soooo tired.

Yeah, another weird thing. Why have I been so tired in the last year or so? With all the hype around the launch of my book, I should be ecstatic! Positive stress always brings out the best in me.

I am doing the best I can to remain enthusiastic about it all, but, honestly, I cannot really be bothered. Miss positivity is down on adrenaline and I know it. And my stomach sticks out as if I am 6 months pregnant.

I am being pulled from all sides emotionally. WTF, this is so un-me. So many thoughts spooking through my head. Am I doing the right thing? Am I being fair to my loved ones? 

I am called in to my physician's office. Her face, normally smiling and happy, is extremely serious. She tells me that from the radiologist's report it is clear that I have a growth in my intestines that is way beyond a polyp. I need to see a specialist asap for a biopsy and I will need surgery to get the bugger removed. Stat.

And I knew. Subconsciously I was already aware. 

How do you tell your kids you have cancer?

#IAmACancerchick #CancerSucks #LetItBe #KeepFightingCancer #Cancer #Biopsy #Surgery #WTF

Words by Ardens Missus
Painting by Dario Puggioni